Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Making the Bed

Got this from an article on procrastination...  Thought it was a good launching point for a blog.

One of the age old arguments parents have with their children is over "making their bed."
Here's an example:

"My mom would ask me to make my bed before going to school. I would say, no, because I didn’t see the point of making my bed if I was just going to sleep in it again that night." 

Our kids will always have a reason why they should not do something.  As parents we must find a reasonable reason.

"She would say, well, we have guests coming over at 6 o’clock, and they might come upstairs and look at your room."

A stretch... but a good start.

"I said, I would make my bed when we know they are here. I want to see a car in the driveway. I want to hear a knock on the door. I know it will take me about one minute to make my bed so at 5:59, if they are here, I will make my bed."

Let me tell you why I don't have this problem.  I'll start with a story.

After staring at the popcorn chicken one more time... My famished five-year old son finally turned to me and said, "Dad I am so hungry, but I don't want to break the rules. What do I do?" 
We were an hour into play practice (for RATCO's presentation of Charlotte's Web) and TJ was hungry.  He wanted to eat the snack I packed him, but the facility's rules clearly stated no food or drink inside the theatre.  

Your thinking to yourself... "Self, what's the problem?  Eat the snack."

Not in our family.  You see my son is what I like to call "Fairy-Tale OCD."  He tries to never do anything wrong.  Out of fear he will be a bad kid.  
I know, right?  Awesome.  
Well not so fast.  There are issues when your kid tries to do no wrong.  Issues like finding out how slack and undisciplined you're life has turned out to be.  

Knowing I wasn't able to walk outside with him to eat, my son was in a tough spot.  
Should he stay and break the rules or go outside alone and eat?  Which he was scared to do alone.
Naturally, I responded to my son by saying, "Go ahead and eat it.  You won't get in trouble.  No one cares today."

TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE Parenting!

My son will do anything you tell him, if he knows it will not get him in trouble.  I just instructed him to break the rules.  It may have been minor on that day, but was it the right decision?  
Once again he is five years old.  Did I just give him the "you get to be lazy, when it is convenient" card?"

It takes us back to the story at the beginning of this post.  If rain was in the forecast and I told you to, "wash your car."  Would you do it?  Knowing full well later in the day, the effort would be wasted?  
So how do you tell someone to make their bed, when the at the end of the day, that effort will be wasted?
What is the motive behind your reasoning?  
Where is that parenting handbook again?


Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/why-procrastination-is-good-for-you-2102008/#lMamS16663YKg21l.99
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